Break Up

Failbetter.com
Issue 18 Fall 2005
Art: Horizon Fields V
by Lependorf & Shire

Fiction: Break Up
by Douglas Light



I get a kick out of eavesdropping on confessions, especially ones that allow me a false sense of superiority. When I hear something that lets me think "I'm a better person than that poor shit," I feel good about my life.

I got the same feeling of amused smugness from reading Break Up by Douglas Light. The story is composed of conversation fragments: break up anecdotes punctuated by the hapless narrator apologizing to his current date, wondering how the subject came up, unable to stop himself from recalling one tale of misery after another.

Light manages to be funny in unconventional ways. He uses the device of having a breakup occur on a ferry, and another atop the Empire State Building, both resulting in the former couple getting stuck together for many long, awkward, painful minutes after the breakup.

The narrator is never clearly defined. Hs recountings show him to be aloof and sometimes casually cruel. He is emotionally distant, readier to paint each woman with quirky details than to express any feeling about one of them.

Douglas Light uses those details to bring definition to each anecdote. He brought each woman to my mind with clarity. I recognized them, despite never meeting women quite like them. Light is excellent with economy of words, a skill I admire.

An excerpt:

The Staten Island Ferry is the worst place to break up. Jodi was the worst, with her large white parka, rabbit fur stoles, and the habit of sucking her teeth before she spoke. I can’t say what I saw in her.

No matter what, wait until you’ve docked. There’s nothing worse then being trapped out on the waters, with the engine churning through the wetness below. There’s nowhere to go, no way of escaping.

When her tantrum grew violent, the ferry’s crewmen had to be called.

I learned my lesson. I don’t date women from Staten Island. I don’t date women who end their names with an "i."

This brief story concludes with a dark one-liner. Go read it, and be sure to check out the rest of Failbetter's fare. I enjoyed their other selections too, particularly Somebody's Drunk Wife by Susan Buttenweiser.